What’s the Reserve Currency on Saturn?

reserve currencyHas NASA discovered a bacterial race of arsenic-guzzling microbes on one of Saturn’s moons and, more importantly, are they in need of government stimulus or bailout? Speculation ran amok in the blogosphere this past Wednesday about a “cryptic” NASA memo telling everyone about an upcoming press conference. Without going into the boring, conspiratorial details, bloggers still suffering from a post X-Files depression the size of the moon kicked things into high gear with rampant speculation that the space agency was about drop the bomb that they had discovered life on Titan, one of Saturn’s moons.

Sorry, no can do on the alien hullabaloo and the truth must still be out there.

While AMA isn’t very interested whether or not a race of megalomaniacal poisonous microbes are plotting a takeover of the solar system, we are more concerned in what their reserve currency is and whether they are still on a gold standard (or whatever metal is precious out there) or if Saturnian inflation has caused a spike in the price of arsenic?

For lo these many years has the American dollar stood at the head of the earthly class of currency, even enjoying the added distinction of being called the world’s reserve currency but we have to wonder, considering it’s recent plummet to the approximate value of Monopoly money, if we could export all of out dollars into the depths of space and leave them there? They don’t appear to be doing us any good at home. And maybe the Arsenicians of Titan have a more stable currency than the American dollar. We should stop being so North America centric and consider the possibility that tiny aliens with less than one cell for a brain may have a better grasp of economic policy than Helicopter Ben and the great Harbinger of Hope residing in the White House. Except we’re pretty sure he’s not even in the country right now, having fled across the ocean and left Chairman Biden to deal with the aftermath of another dismal jobs report.

Our words of advice to these new, almost sentient beings so far away in space – you’re probably better off to stay where you’re at. Don’t come anywhere near earth-style economic activity and you’ll be just fine and, whatever you do, never, ever buy a US government treasury bond. We hear they’re using them for toilet paper in China.

The American Monetary Association Team

American Monetary Association

Flickr / adonofrio

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